Contentment and Practicality

Yes, I’m writing about this on Black Friday, I know. Don’t worry, I’m not judging. I went shopping this evening after dinner with my siblings. We had a great time, laughing it up and enjoying being together. We just got back. I had two goals: Buy some shoes and some jeans. I ended up buying nothing but a nice scarf that I knew I would use heavily. There’s a reason why I need shoes and jeans. I have one pair of jeans that sort of fit me, and my black shoes are falling apart. Literally.  But here is the issue. I’m too practical. There are too many choices. Expensive choices. Seemingly impractical choices. Choices I will live with whether or not they really truly fit me, because they are expensive. So instead of choosing, I freeze. I balk. One could say I’m content to wear old shoes that are flaking apart, or second hand clothes that don’t fit me right. But the honest truth is…. I’m not. I want to look nice. I want to have shoes that aren’t falling apart, a coat that isn’t too small and almost worn through, and jeans that actually fit properly and are the right length. Yeah. And then I feel guilty. Aren’t there worse off people than I? Shouldn’t I be glad I have those things? Well, I am. Really I am. I’m warm, and clothed. What more could I desire? This pull in my heart between being content with second hand worn out items and going ahead and shelling out the money for something new and shiny is a hard battle. Being practical is something useful and important, but can also be taken too far. I really should buy new shoes. Maybe tomorrow I’ll find a pair that fit the bill and don’t break the bank. We’ll see.

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