Gray Days and Introspective Thoughts

It’s one of those days. You wake up groggy, with the feeling that you must not have slept well-but have no recollection why. Oh how I despise that feeling. Today that’s how I woke up. After getting…. 10 hours of sleep.

TEN.

I should feel like a new woman. Instead I feel like I got hit by a truck. Thankfully, I have some very supportive people that surround me on days like today. Oh, they probably won’t actually see me face to face today-I’m just planning on staying home and doing homeschool and laundry. But they are there, holding me up, encouraging me to press on. Many of them I don’t even know personally. They are part of my life online, through Facebook. It all started a few years back when I joined a mom’s group. This group is the place for crowd sourcing random questions like “My 3 year old is suddenly back talking to me all. the. time. What could have triggered this, and how do I deal with it properly to encourage proper communication?”. This group has been some serious support for me on days when I felt like I could talk to no one else about the issues I was facing. Later, I joined a group that shares recipes, asks what’s for dinner this evening (Think about it before 5:30pm!), and healthy eating tips. I also joined a Flylady group, which is basically a “clean your house baby step by baby step at a time, and finally love yourself!” group. In this group I feel perfectly comfortable posting pics of my mounds of dirty dishes, 8 loads of laundry piled on my bed needing folded, and the huge mess my toddlers made in the dining room. Because I know they will encourage me to tackle it, and ask me later how it went. Posting the “after” pictures is a very happy experience, as I know they will rally around me and tell me how great I did. Toddlers and Hubby don’t always get that. 😉 Another group I’m a part of sends out encouraging notes about the value of motherhood and pointing the mommies to God’s Word. There are some days I’m about in tears just reading their messages, because so often we forget and get sidetracked from what is truly important. A group I just joined two days ago is one that encourages it’s members to post a picture of their outfit that day. Since the last 8 months I’ve been in work out clothes and construction gear, and the 4 months before that I was not fitting in any of my clothes well since I had just had a baby, and the 9 months before that I was in maternity clothes and “inbetween” wear…. I desperately needed this kick in the pants. Today I’m actually dressed, with my hair done, jewelry on, and it’s not even lunch time. 😉 Yesterday I actually wore some make up. This is a very, very rare occurrence for me. More amazingly, on a “normal” gray icky day like today, I might have even still been in bed moaning had it not been for the encouragement from the above groups of people. I’m so grateful for their simple gifts of encouragement and gentle shoves in the right direction. When H was a baby I struggled with mild to moderate postpartum depression. As a teenager and young woman I had bouts with depression as well. Two huge things have helped me with dealing properly with the feelings of depression. One, is the encouragement of these groups. Two, is a proper realization that I don’t have to be tied to how I feel. There is Truth that is Truth no matter how I feel.

I am loved. I am valued. The Son of God gave His life for me. For me!!

I am free from the bonds of the enemy. Now whenever I’m beginning to feel blue I pop on some happy music that praises my Maker, refocusing my heart and sending the enemy and his nasty fingers of depression running. With prayer and the prodding of the Holy Spirit and my friends, I am victorious and no longer say “I have depression”. Oh it comes around occasionally trying to bug me, but it can’t find an open spot for long, because of these wonderful supports around me. I am thankful.

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